Present day parenting is very challenging, especially with the many external distractions. Nevertheless, as parents, our children are an amanah on to us from Allah. It is our duty to nurture, educate and protect them as they grow into the next generation of leaders.
As working parents, we are sometimes left with only the weekends to spend with our children. While we are busy at work, apart from teachers, our children are in school all day with friends making them more influenced by the friends they make. This can be a good thing. The Prophet Muhammad SAW often spoke to his companions about the value of good companionship. However, in the company of the wrong group of friends is dangerous. Here are some tips to keep our children grounded no matter where they are or who they befriend, InsyaAllah.
1) Make full use of the time spent with your children
Have family events. Performing salah together should be one of the main family events, even with our children who have not come of age. This is also the best way to instill the love for Allah in our children. Family meal time is another great opportunity to bond with our children. It gives us a chance to catch up with our children and learn to enjoy the company of family. With more time spent with our children, the bond turns into trust. With trust, InsyaAllah they will turn to us for any advice and help. Make time for our children, for they will learn to make time for us as their parents.
2) Who are their friends?
Know our children’s friends. Get to know them and their family. Understand the values of our children’s friends and keep check for if they are of good company for our children. Indeed, as parents, we do need to be aware by choosing that is best for our children.
3) Where are they going?
Knowing who our children hang out with is the first part. Take the trouble to know where they are going, how long they will be out and make sure to set a time for them to be home. If they are heading to a place that is less favourable or for less desirable reasons, be okay with putting our foot down and disallowing them from going. It may not be the most famous decision at the time. However, our children are our responsibility to keep safe from any harm. Remember that the best decisions are never the easiest of decisions.
4) Set rules
As humans, we are built to require rules. That is one of the reasons the Holy Quran was sent; as a guide, a set of life rules to abide by. Children need to be given rules by parents for it creates discipline. Rules help create order in the life of the child and in the household. With discipline, our children will learn to achieve goals, have a positive outlook of life, learn to avoid temptation and persevere to achieve success.
5) Shower them with love
Tell our children we love them and start from when they are young so that they get used to it. They may grow out of the hugs and kisses, but children can never be told enough that they are loved by their parents. Allow them to express their emotions and thoughts respectfully. And address their feelings through rational explanation, based on the verses of the Quran and Hadith. The phrase “because I say so” stumps the learning process. Be firm yet understanding of the fact that our children are growing, processing their growth and understanding their surroundings. Who better to guide them than their parents?
InsyaAllah, with grit and lots of du’a, our children will be successful fid dunya wal akhira.